I’m still very aware that the most frustrating thing to her is no being able to communicate in the way that she really wants to. She doesn’t really want to scream and roll around, she really just wants to draw the flower like it is in the book – she just isn’t ready yet.
She doesn’t want to throw herself around like a fish out of water in the middle of a food order, she’s just pissed off the Mr hasn’t heard her say ‘Chair, please’ in her tiny voice. As soon as she was on a chair she ate her food and relaxed.
The real sticking point is the pushchair. She has feet and legs and she wants to use them! But the world has cars, roads, and a huge amount of people with no time for tiny legs.
BUT…
I see you, you childless, judgey ones – you have no idea. I also see you there with the very small, first baby that is yet to find their own vocal range. I can see you staring at my toddler. I so badly would love to have a calm conversation with her…
‘Hey, Mojo – would you mind terribly piping down, all these other people base the enjoyment of their meal on the quietness of those around them. So sorry dear, but can you shut up.’
‘Why, yes Mummy – the only reason I was being so very loud is simply because I’m trying to tell you that there are 15 peas on my plate and we both know that is 5 peas too many. Not only that but I notice that your plate happens to be a better colour than mine. If you would be so kind of to remove these peas and give me your plate we can resolve this matter swiftly.’
Instead you will hear –
‘Ohhhh, what is wrong with you?’ A few ‘Is it this?’ while pointing to various things around the place and eventually ‘My dear, calm down and show me.’
‘Nothing, go away. Leave me ‘lone. Plis, plissss on a chair, stoppit peas plates. Mama bootiful plits, PLAAAAATEEEES IS PRETTY.’
So you see, there is vast difference between what we WANT to do and what we CAN do at this stage. You staring aghast at this crazed monster does nothing but make parents feel like they don’t have the right to be eating out with their children, shopping or alive and breathing in social situations. The slight downward turn of your mouth doesn’t offend me really but it’s hurtful that you look at us with some sort of disgust. She is a lovely human in normal circumstance.
All I’m saying, what I am really asking for is this:
Please remember that these tiny noisy toddlers don’t mean to make you sad about life, you’re just a judgey prat.
No hard feelings.
Dickhead.
