I keep reading these posts about what people say when you have all boys, and I thought I would share some of the Stupid things people say when you have all girls, these have all been said to me and/or Man:
You’ll have a cupboard full of tampax.
Yeah, I would if I personally didn’t already use a Mooncup and will be introducing the girls to reusable pads when the time comes. But then again with 720 packets of tampons it would be like a cottony avalanche every time I reached for all the other feminine stuff I use like… vagfresh or my vaginal monocle.
How will you keep the men away?
I don’t intend to, I want my girls to have friends male, female and everything in between. In order to do this and keep the lines of communication open we won’t be turning boys away at the door. Instead we hope to foster a healthy attitude to sexual adventures and safety. If it all goes wrong we will be there – with all the pink stuff to make the booboo better.
You need to teach them to make a great steak!
Why? Are the rest of the population unable to? No? Okay then. They will be able to cook, bake, clean and put up shelves because life requires you to learn, grow and take care of yourself. If they should choose to cook you a fine steak then it will because they want to not because they need to.
I bet your house is full of pink!!
Actually, although I wanted to live inside a Barbie Dream house it was impracticable. I would bet our houses are equally strewn with trucks, paint, nappies and empty crisp packets.
I bet you really want a boy!
Actually I did yeah. I am perfectly content to have a house full of vaginas, but boy baby came along in 2019.
Are you done now then?
Done? Are we done creating all these mini vaginas to cook steak and hormone the world up? Probably not.
What about… y’know… all those sex chats!
I know. I do. However as my eldest is home educated we hit the sex stuff with a truth bat. There is no ‘foo foo’ or ‘my bit’ in our house. It’s vagina, penis and breasts. Eldest knows how babies are REALLY made, and that sex isn’t just about procreation. Were there awkward questions? Yes. Did I manage to answer them? Yes.
HAHA you’ll all be on your period at the same time!! POOR MAN!!!
Yeah, totally poor him. In a house where I have some teenagers going through what can be a challenging time POOR HIM, in a time when they will be changing in to women POOR HIM, at this time when all our vaginas give away the fact we are actually female POOR HIM. In the words of POOR HIM ‘Are these people fucking stupid? I feel sorry for the women in that house’.
How will you pay for all those weddings?
I am looking at university, world trips and stuff like that first buddy. Sure they might get married and sure we will stump up the cash but I would rather they focus on becoming a well rounded individual before marrying them off.
Girls are SO much easier than boys!
OH FUCKING ARE THEY? I don’t think you have met my children and further more you could just say ‘Girls are easier than carpet’ or ‘Girls are easier than mashed potato’ because it doesn’t mean a fucking thing to someone who has ALL GIRLS.
Mant must be really alone with no other males in the house.
The dog is male. Does he not count? I would ask him but he is out right now, busy buying 10 bars of chocolate and 72 packs of tampons for when we flood the house with menstrual blood.
I bet you guys have so many clothes!
We do because there are five of us in the house. We each have 12 tutus, all our tights are pink and everything has glitter. EVERYTHING.
You don’t want them eating too much sugar, they will get fat.
So will your mouth when I punch it for bringing up that in front of any child.
So…
There you have it, some of the most stupid things that have even been said to me and Manbeast about our girls.
Now if you will excuse me I am going to paint all our nails, comb our hair, learn to make the fluffiest cupcakes all while wearing heels and discussing big weddings and how we can use tamptons as bunting. MWAH!
