Stuff I wish I’d known about 5 year olds.

There are things I wished I knew pre-pregnancy, and there are things I wished I knew about birth. But who the hell prepares you for the older years? They’re not toddlers & not teens. The inbetweens?

I wish someone had said to me –

  • Stock up on headaches relief, they don’t stop talking, ever.
  • Be prepared to answer questions all day.
  • Be prepared to be embarrassed – daily- in public.
  • When they get upset at something silly, for example, their Moshi Monster just told them it doesn’t like them. It’s serious when you’re 5. So don’t laugh. 
  • When they decide to dress themselves, try not to look too confused when they are wearing a headband as a bandanna and a skirt as a top. Or a jumper as a hat – See below.
  • When you get told they have just farted, it’s because you encouraged them to share. It’s your own fault.
  • When they stand and point out every flaw you have one by one, they don’t think these things are flaws – only you do.
  • If they happen to ask why you have fluffy patches where they don’t, see point 2.
  • Sometimes, children of that age believe they are older than they are, this may, in fact, cause them to tell you off as if you were younger than them. They will indeed use the phrases you use. (the ones you said you’d never say when you were a parent).
  • You will never keep up with the energy of your child, you can try, but when they left your body they took most of it with them. 
  • They can do things without you. They like to do things without you. They like to not mention to you that they have done them. They got crafty while you weren’t looking.
  • You love them, more than they love you, and now you will begin to see it.  
  • At least once a day they will do something that may bring you to your knees in surprise.



Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back to top
%d bloggers like this: