So we arrive, grab things and shove them in our basket. He grabbed steak, I grabbed blueberries, he grabbed bread and I grabbed cracker bread stuff. On we go.
CHECKOUT.
A man approaching his 50’s turned to Mr M and this is what happens:
‘Is that your babi in there? Is that a babi?.’ Stranger
‘Yep, she’s fast asleep.’ Mr M
We carry on unloading on to the belt.
‘Can I ask, why are you carrying it? Like that?.’ Stranger
‘Because it’s nice and she is comfortable. I like it.’ Mr M
Everything is loaded on to the belt now.
‘You know what’ Stranger says to the cashier (who looks baffled). ‘I’m fucking confused I am.’
‘Can I ask – why isn’t your wife carrying it? It’s the wife’s job that is.’ Stranger to Mr M.
*Scoff* * Snort* ‘No, it isn’t.’ Mr M – irritated and as baffled as everyone else.
Stranger turns back to the cashier and says –
‘Man to man here boy. Men are men and women and women. Men don’t do women jobs. If I was a young lad growing up today I’d be fucking confused as anything.’
During the whole exchange the Stranger never once took me into the conversation, didn’t make eye contact even though it was very clear that I was his ‘wife’. He addressed the male cashier and Mr M, with good eye contact and expressive mannerism.
He had a quirky hat, I like a good hat. His jacket was in good nick, nice soft brown leather. A well trimmed beard sat on his ruddy, weathered face. His hands were neat and clean.
All of these may have lead me to believe he was a nice chap.
Instead he was actually just a bit of a rude, sexist, prat. I didn’t butt in to the conversation. Now some of you may be up in arms ‘I would have given him a piece of my mind.’ I appreciate that many would, however I didn’t.
It wasn’t because he looked through me as if I wasn’t there. It wasn’t because I wasn’t invited into his very manly conversation. It wasn’t because what he said didn’t make an impression on me – it did. The reason I didn’t say anything is because I didn’t have to. Although he had tried to gather support by looking around, catching other men’s eyes during the exchange and nodding, including the cashier and Mr M, it had not worked. He had be unable to find any support to his theory in that moment. No men nodded in agreement but they looked away and the women raised an eyebrow and shook their heads.
Nothing is louder than disapproving silence.
What would you have done?
