Girls.
I have three girls.
I have three girls and in the news, I read about inequality in work spaces, rape in parks, FGM, slut shaming, breastfeeding bullies, page 3 models, how the bigger the bust and the smaller the waist is something to strive for.
I have three girls and in the news I see women fighting for equality in work space, calling out rapists and changing the laws, campaigning & raising fund for FGM because what right does someone else have to brutally take what is yours from your very body? Sitting in parks and cities with breasts out – feeding their babies, speaking against page three and saying – healthy is what you strive for. Happiness is what you strive for.
I have three girls and in the house I show them how to bake, I show them how to clean, I show them how to paint, write and read – not for the partner they will have one day but these are skills every person should have. I sit and sip my coffee while Mr cleans around me, this is my work space and this is our equality. Rape is not a joke, when the news flashes pictures of a woman’s bruised face and the words ‘abused, beaten, sexual assault’ fall from the reporters lips. When FGM was all over the news, and girls barely two years older than my own daughters talked about how they were held down, how they were awake and the feelings they are left with, I inhale deeply I explain that some people try to take what does not belong to them, this can be emotional, physical and sometimes objects that you own. These people who take are the only ones to blame and in my need to explain I need to compare someone stealing a car to someone having a clitoris sliced from their body to make it digestible for them, and myself. This is me doing my best to make them aware and it’s the best I can do. I breastfeed their youngest sister where ever it’s needed, not because I love to sit with my breasts out, but because I need to show them there is nothing wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with feeding your child where ever you may need. They have seen me talk to staff, sip my coffee and strangers sneer or look on in delight. This is me showing them it is okay, that it is normal. When we see a page three on the seat of a bus I don’t sneer, I don’t express my disgust because I am not disgusted. I am not disgusted by the body that is displayed in front of me, I am not disgusted in the career chosen by the brunette. Instead I say to her that there are better ways to earn better money and their bodies are their own. We talk about sizes, weight – Eldest has come to me and asked if she is fat, she tried not to eat for two days as she felt that thinner people were better people. I gave her cake. I told her that it’s not about how big or little you are. It’s about making healthy choices in your food, it’s about moving your body every day and more importantly it only matters what she thinks of herself.
I have three girls, and in having those three girls I am more comfortable in myself. Being comfortable in yourself isn’t about how you look, it’s about who you are. For them I keep up to date with campaigns, I have a uterus I painted hanging on my wall, I have had my floppy breasts out in coffee shops, restaurants, planes, trains and many other places not as a demonstration, but just as a walking jug of milk. For them, I learned how to bake a great cake, learned how to stand up for myself and those around me. I don’t want them to be afraid of the fact that they are little women, I want them to be proud of that.
I have three girls and for them, I have learnt to be more of a woman than I ever would have been without them.
