Getting Ghosted Isn’t Always About You

It’s tempting to think that the world revolves around you. And that the friends, partners, and even family that you have around you now will be around forever.

Sometimes that’s just not how it’s going to go down.

When people talk about being ghosted, they talk about how it feels to be the one who was left bereft.

But the truth is, very often it’s going to have nothing to do with you at all. It won’t be because you farted that one time, nor will it be because you said something silly. And, you’ll be heavily consumed with how you feel about it.

Not recognising that sometimes feelings can be overwhelming and the other person might have needed to close off for a while.

Most of what you do as a human will be pretty much what all humans do. Sometimes it will be stupid. Sometimes it will be hurtful, and sometimes it will be a little fucked up.

In a world that there is barely any real escape from, occasionally people need to switch off.

Not only that but sometimes they need to disconnect from you. And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other or how close you are. People don’t owe you anything.

Yes, of course, an explanation might be nice, but sometimes people need to just go.

And it’s not about you. It’s about them. It doesn’t matter what you’ve said or done. Or even if you’ve been the shining example of a perfectly good person.

People from time to time need to disappear. And that’s okay. All you can do is find peace with it, and move on. We don’t own people, and they don’t own us.

I’m not saying it is the right thing to do, or that it isn’t hurtful – but I appreciate that space is a gift that you can give when a person needs to leave. And, that finding a little calm and silence in this world, this fucked up, messy, beautiful place, comes above staying around and hanging on because that is the done thing.


“Everyone you meet is a part of your journey, but not all of them are meant to stay in your life. Some people are just passing through to bring you gifts; either they’re blessings or lessons.”― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart


Photo by Candice Seplow on Unsplash


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