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Feeling It and Believing It! Embracing Confidence When You’re a Shy Freelancer

woman in pink dress using laptop computer

Pixabay – CC0 Licence

Getting your name out there as a freelancer is one of the toughest things we have to do. We have to do so much preparation in terms of that promotional aspect of our lives that, while for some people, it comes really easy, but there are so many of us in the modern day who are freelancers out of necessity, perhaps doing it on top of a job, or we’re trying to build up a business so we can gain more freedom, flexibility, and of course finances, so we experience a lot of internal struggles. 

Perhaps we’re not feeling like we’re able to work at the same level as those other freelancers and business leaders. But that notion of confidence is something that everybody struggles with. If you feel that, as a freelancer or a burgeoning business owner, you are experiencing that struggle that you’re not good enough, there are a number of tips and tricks to ensure that you can deliver, not for everybody else, but for you. So let’s discuss some of the best approaches that can make all the difference:

Visualise the Difference You Can Make

If there is one powerful tool that all entrepreneurs use, it’s visualisation. Visualisation is such a critical skill that can make a huge difference in not just your overall abilities, but also your perception of yourself. Visualisation is something that should be a part of your daily routine, but it’s also important to remember that when you start to create a perception of yourself that’s different from what you believe you are, you can then step into that role. 

A common example in terms of promotion is the humble business card; you may not feel that you have the ability to deliver what that business card says, but when you are working with online printer services that can create business cards and promotional materials, you are then able to design something that is not necessarily representative of your current skills but can be something that you know you need to step up to.

You might argue that this creates some sense of pressure, but what we have to remember is that even though we are shrinking violets, every business owner or entrepreneur has felt exactly the same. In fact, there are so many who still feel like this, even when they’re in charge of multi-million dollar companies! Therefore, visualisation should form a part of your daily routine. Look at how you can create that winning image of yourself building relationships with people, sealing deals, and practising that image. It’s something that over time becomes easier, but when you incorporate other aspects of confidence-building into this, like meditation and mindfulness, it all creates a winning package that’s hard to resist!

For those people who think visualisation is an incredibly wishy-washy approach, the brain is unable to tell what is real and what is imagined! This can expand your perceptions far wider than you had anticipated! So think about what you want to achieve and practise the pictures.

The Art of Preparing

There are so many different tools to prepare yourself, but those people who have a lack of faith in their abilities tend to believe that business owners have this innate natural skill in building relationships. Granted, a lot of people certainly do, but there are many out there who have had to learn. When we learn how to be good at certain things, a part of it comes down to that experience of meeting people and remembering that we can always go away and prepare. If you are slowly working towards promoting your services as a freelancer through email, look at those cold emails people have sent out before. What is it about them that works?

This is where a business mentor is invaluable. Having someone who can tell you what aspects of you work so well gives you that confidence boost. What’s more, it ensures that you start to prepare yourself appropriately based on the scenario. When you are meeting new clients, doing that research by scouring their LinkedIn profiles, websites, social media, etc., gives you that better picture. Being forearmed is forewarned, after all! But we can also prepare in other ways, particularly if we don’t feel we have the skills of conversing. 

The book “Think Faster, Talk Smarter” by Matt Abrahams is an absolute treasure trove of skills anybody in business should have because communication is fundamental to building genuine relationships. We can all sniff it from a mile off when someone is being disingenuous and think they are trying to sell, which is why, when it comes to things like networking, being who you are and harnessing those innate skills that may or may not be there, but also practising the art of building conversations and relationships, makes a huge difference. There are so many different structures that can make a huge impact on how you build relationships. 

With something like selling, where you have structures like “What? So What? Now What?,” which Matt Abrahams talks about a lot, when you start to think that all conversations can follow a loose structure, this can open your perceptions wider beyond your own inhibitions, and it gives you a resource to fall back on when you’re not feeling like you’re firing on all cylinders. Everybody should prepare, and what we need to remember is that those people who have been in business for years have developed that sixth sense when it comes to structure or things to say that it becomes automatic. You can achieve this too; you just need to practise!

The Power of Positivity

Those shrinking violets who need to promote themselves can find that their negative thought patterns keep them stuck in a cycle that’s not particularly welcome. Those thoughts like “What’s the point? I’m not good enough!” and all of those other unhelpful ways of thinking are incredibly detrimental to our abilities. What we need to remember is that nobody is psychic! When we meet someone for the first time, this is the freshest opportunity to put forward a whole new version of yourself. 

This is where the visualisation aspect comes in handy, but also, when you start to think more positively and recognise that you have those automatic negative thoughts, commonly known as ANTs, you can stop these things. We must remember that as we develop our confidence, we will start to notice there are traits of our thinking that don’t help us in the slightest. What negative people tend to think is that those thoughts are actually true. When we experience a thought, it’s just the feedback loop of our brain reaffirming what we’re putting into it. Remember, the brain is unable to tell between what is real and what is imagined, and if you start to put in bad messaging, is your brain going to run as it should? 

Therefore, thinking about those little signals that can promote positivity will make a huge impact. One simple trick: practise smiling. When you smile, it sends that signal to the brain. Laughing is another one as well as proper posture. When we stand tall, with our chest open and shoulders back, we start to send those signals that we are confident. Check out the TED Talk by Amy Cuddy on positive body language to get more information. 

Ultimately, positivity is something that is very hard to come by, especially in such a negative world we see. But do what you can for that sense of self-preservation. Stop looking at what your competitors are doing, unless it’s for proper research. Focus on your own goals and your own development. A growth mindset is only achievable by you, and there is no point in worrying about what others are doing. Stay in your own lane, but remember that you can use whatever other people have learned for your benefit, but if you absorb negativity into your consciousness, is it hardly surprising when you start to think and feel negatively?

Don’t Forget to Nourish, Rest, and Recharge

We all have a threshold which can be tough to push through. A growth mindset is about recognising when you’ve hit your limits, and you then need to stop, rest, and recuperate. We all have things that limit us, and therefore, rather than that antiquated mindset of just getting on with it, recognise when you hit your limits because it’s affecting you in certain ways. For example, you’re tired, you don’t focus, your sleep has gone out the window, and of course, those negative thought patterns are there. 

When we experience problems that are symptomatic of things like anxiety, depression, or general malaise, this is when we need to have the right tools to help us recharge and replenish. You are in charge of your own destiny, and if you feel like you’re doing too much to the point that you are burning out, there is absolutely no shame in taking a step back. We can all feel that we need to earn more, that we need to do more, and it’s easy to feel like this when we’re working two different jobs and not earning enough to pay the bare basics, but that sense of pressure is another limiting mindset.

Of course, there are those bare basics as well that will help, such as a good diet, sleep, etc., but if you are someone who doesn’t stop and recharge, then you need to prioritise this as well.

When it comes to embracing confidence, when you’re a shy freelancer, there is an abundance of options out there. These are just a handful. You can do it, but most importantly, you can feel it and believe it!

Zara