I am not sure at what point we swapped from a delightful, dribbly 3 word sentence almost-toddler to what can only be described as the MOST INTENSE toddler I’ve ever met but that is what has happened. No longer is she the little sweetheart who stroked my hair. She is more likely to smack me in the forehead with a Mega Blok brick.
She is quite something – according to everyone who has met her.
The other day I managed to piss her off approximately 4000 times. Here are just a few of the ‘problems’ that I caused her.
- The cheese broke
- The egg wasn’t pink
- Ivy farted and it didn’t smell
- My face looked ‘on wrong’
- Because I don’t know what a spaccywach is (I am glad she can’t read yet, I’d be in trouble for the spelling)
- Our boots aren’t the same
- The button that changes the lights doesn’t flash at one set but does at the other and I need to fix it
- Sausages aren’t tasty with chocolate buttons that you found under the couch
- Sausages don’t go into your pocket well
- I don’t sleep in her bed
- I didn’t know she was being ‘dead’ and asked her if she wanted something to drink and ‘ruin all the life of her’
As you can see I am a monstrous fuck up of a parent, the problem is when she really starts crying I have no idea what she is saying and then I laugh. You know what happens when you laugh at a toddler who is dealing with broken cheese?
Hysteria and some stink eye.
