The Fallacy Of The ‘Old’ You

fallacy

/ˈfaləsi/

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noun

noun: fallacy; plural noun: fallacies

  1. a mistaken belief, especially one based on unsound arguments.
  2. the notion that the camera never lies is a fallacy.”
  3. synonyms: misconception, mistaken belief, misbelief, delusion, false notion, mistaken impression, misapprehension, misjudgement, miscalculation, misinterpretation, misconstruction, error, mistake, untruth, inconsistency, illusion, myth, fantasy, deceit, deception, sophism; More
  • LOGIC
  • a failure in reasoning which renders an argument invalid.”Kraft exposes three fallacies in this approach.”
  • faulty reasoning.”the potential for fallacy which lies behind the notion of self-esteem.”

 

It is a strange thing when someone says ‘I miss the old you’. Because there is nothing you can actually do about it, this their mistaken belief that the ‘old’ you was almost someone else.

You used to be fun

You used to stay up late

You used to…

As women, and granted this isn’t everyone, we go out with friends, we party, coffee meetings, brunches, we fuck, there are long shopping trips – working all hours and generally being a lot of fucking fun.

We get older, and we have babies. We have these new humans to raise. You don’t feel like the ‘old’ you.

The ‘old’ you got schlepped onto the floor along with the post-birth blood.

She leaked out during a tentative breastfeed.

The old you got pulled up into the ‘mum bun’ which is not only very practical – it takes 20 seconds to do.

The old you got crushed under the weight of all of the laundry that needs tending to.

The old you knows 3-4-5am better now, but not because you’re just getting home. Rather because you are awake with the people that you made.

The old you. 

My problem with this terminology is that there isn’t and old you and a new you. All of these things are you, we are not 2d, we are multifaceted, like a fucking diamond. Some days you will see the mum bun and the stained t-shirt, other days you will see the cheekbones highlighted to the gods. Both are you. Some days you will give the surprise blow job, other days you will say ‘I feel like a bloated whale’. You do not have to fall into any categories of person – you are allowed to have as many sides as you want.

My problem with this terminology is that there is no room for you to experience this personal growth. Mental growth. This phenomenally twisty turny – breaks you into a million pieces, and one fat baby laugh glues you back up – time in your life.

My problem with this is once upon a time I was ten years old trying to work out what a tampon was and how I could buy a horse – also the ‘old’ me, no?

There is no old you. There is no new you.

There is only THE you.

There is a focus on fighting the ‘snapping back into shape’ post-baby. But not many people give the smallest fuck about the ‘old you’ or not ‘feeling yourself’ – ‘you’re just not you anymore…’

It is damaging fucking language.

You must work as though you do not have children

You must raise children as though you don’t work

You must give birth and return the person you were before you conceived

You must be motherly the moment you conceive

Well, how about we chuck it all in the fuck-it bucket and start to acknowledge that no one tells oak trees to stop growing branches in different directions.

Ditch the idea of the old you and new you. Because honestly, this ‘old you’ business would mean that you would never evolve as a person – and who the fuck wants to be a static, stagnant human?

 

via GIPHY

Zara

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