The Alternative Breastfeeding Glossary Pt.2

Like every good dictionary there is room for addition.

Let us start with ‘Boobie Bogey’. If you breastfeed and your child has a cold, is snotty, is not snotty, has a dry nose or indeed is actually just a child you have probably had this. You look down at your divine little thing and notice either a snotty string or a little green crusty thing.

‘Mr. Pinchy’ is common discussed within the ranks of breastfeeders. There you are, it’s 3am, you are relaxed, baby is relaxed – let down happened quickly and the whole thing is going smoothly. You close your eyes and begin to drift off…

The suddenly you are wide awake again. With sharp, pulling, scratchy feelings on the breast. Ladies and Gents may I present to you ‘Mr. Pinchy.’

Next up we have ‘The Over Stuffer’. This can be mightly frustrating for all involved. This is when your cherub not only wants your nipple but would also like his or her hand/finger/thumb. This may happen during the latch, in the hand/nipple confusion you might find a finger poking your nip out the way. It may happen during a feed, during the wait for letdown your bouncing baby pulls you around like a personal game of tug and war when suddenly!

‘The Over Stuffer’

‘The Boobie Punchbag’. This one is important to remember and serves a purpose (milk stimulation) – yet to find it in any breastfeeding guide though! Would be a handy tip to know that sometimes your baby will beat up their own food source.
‘The Snapping Turtle’
You can been out most of the day. Your delightful spawn has slept the entire time. You have peacocked your new baby around town ignoring the pangs of full milk ducts and your breasts starting to look like a beachball. You finally get home, excited to be emptying your cargo soon. 
 You lift baby to breast, baby realises just how hungry he/she is and takes aim. There are no mistakes here. Baby clamps down with great gusto onto your nip shoving face firmly into the bossom this may be accompanied by strange chompy gurgles or appreciation. This may feel similar to a vice for a moment or two. Do not fear, letdown is near. 

Last today we see ‘The Nip Elasticity Test’. This one may happen at any time possibly during baby needing a big fart or poo, has gas or doesn’t have gas, is surprised, you have slightly dropped baby or baby is ‘Milk Drunk’ and can’t be bothered to come off the breast in a polite manner. This… this is. Words can’t describe this. Only pictures will do.

Ladies and gentlemen – ‘The Nip Elasticity Test’.

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4 thoughts on “The Alternative Breastfeeding Glossary Pt.2

  1. Lol this is brilliant! After my very short breast feeding journey, I (sadly) missed out on all of these! That elastic tester at the end looks especially fun lol.

  2. Aw fab post and brought back my wonderful breastfeeding memories! Thanks so much for linking up to #brillblogposts

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