Sex

I’m going to talk about sex. I love sex.

If you are easily offended by swearing, vaginas, gin, fat or strech-marks, two things – I’m surprised you’re on this blog, secondly I should leave if I were you. Sometimes, I offend myself. 

 Obviously, most of us had sex before we had children, else the babies wouldn’t be here. Most of us also have sex after the baby or babies. But why does it seem to turn into something rushed? Something squeezed in between being busy parents, working all hours and house keeping.Or does it get put on a back burner?

Reasons we should have more sex (without making more babies) :

  1. It’s fun – if you do it right
  2. It’s exercise, you know, instead of the gym
  3. You can feel truly sexy, because if that person is having sex with you they clearly like you enough to do it.
  4. There is actually a calorie list, so like, it’s healthy – Kinda like point 2, except it’s good for your heart to. There are studies and everything.
  5. Emotional wellbeing. I’m putting it in there (read that as you will).
  6. I believe, unlike most things in life it is to be indulged in.
  7. It can be romantic, hot, fast, slow, beautiful and mind blowing.
  8. You can, for between 30 seconds to 3hours, be entangle in something on most occasions you don’t have to clean up after
  9. It’s like a stress ball. Give it a minute and you may begin to feel lightly relieved. 
  10. It’s relaxing, well, you know when it is all over and done with? That bit, where you can sleep like a dog. Out-cold.
  11. There are few things, as people that we have the ability to do. Orgasm is one of them. That is a reason. It might be more like 5 reasons if you have a really good tag team partner on your side.
  12. Orgasm. (I felt it needed another point)

Healthy, happy, fun, orgasm, relaxing, orgasm. You know, that isn’t a bad list, is it?
Maybe not as good as my Gin list, but it’s like a close second.

Obviously, those of us pregnant or with newlings in our midst have recently made ‘the beast with two backs’. Was this to make the babies or to make the sex? Do you currently find time in your very busy days to keep having sex? Do you manage to have it as much as you like? Do you suppress your own urges? Do you have sex, when maybe you don’t really feel like it or can’t be bothered? What does sex mean to you?

WHAT THE HELL. A lot to think about. I’m not going to answer these things, they are for you. You think about them. You can feel free to share your own opinions in the comments box, and no I won’t blame you if you don’t. It’s personal, right?

How about the ‘How long should you wait after birth?’. Some women take a very long to resume the sexing. There have been a few times limits on it, the minimum being 3-6 weeks as I’ve read. Well, at three weeks personally I was leaking like a dairy cow this time around – no dice. That is not to say that, if I had felt up to it, I wouldn’t have fancied a bit. I like a bit. I’d really say that, when you are ready, go ahead and hop on. Go slow. Enjoy it.

I have heard one or two people mention stretch-marks, but last time I checked, no one had sex with your stretch-marks. But yes, as you wish, you feel changed. This change has come about by choosing (in most cases) to have a child, you made that choice, your body will change, because that is the shit that happens. Does this mean you are incapable? Nope, ‘fraid not. I have some (stretch-marks), I have plenty, not just from having the children. Cause, like, I got fat. In all honestly, if your partner still wants to nail you after all that vaginal trauma, stretchy belly, leaky boobs and black bags under eyes – Who, quite frankly, the fuck are you to tell him/her what he/she does and doesn’t find attractive??

If it’s hurty, obviously that is different.

So yeah, that is my view on the sex thing. It might not be to your taste, but that’s the thing about sex, everyone is different.

Just in case you are a bit confused about my take on it. I found a picture.

    Zara

    6 thoughts on “Sex

    1. ooo I’ll be brave and comment first!

      I’m 6mnths pregnant at the moment, and have 6 children – all planned except the first who was a happy accident – so yes, it’s fairly plain I’m fairly up for having sex most of the time! (If it’s with my husband, I hasten to add).

      Do I have enough? Well… It certainly happens several times a week at least, usually. I’d LIKE it to happen every night, every morning and maybe after lunch (followed by a nap) but, ya know, practicalities and all that *sigh*

      Suppressed urges? Not really. I mean, my libedo & that of my husband’s are not ALWAYS in sink. Maybe he’s got a cold or a lot on and is not as much up for it as I am, and vice versa – sometimes we fall out of sync. But we’ve been together nearly 18 years now, so we we’re good and copy and coming back together, and we know we’ll get back into sync again. Plus we have lots of alternative ways to cope & things to do if the other is not up for full blown chandelier swinging sex.

      When to have sex after babies? Well, it depends what you mean by ‘sex’. If you mean penis in vagina penetration, then we tend to TRY, at least, to wait till I’ve had the 6weeks Dr’s check up. We’ve generally made it more or less until then!

      I should stress I’ve been very lucky, had normal, natural, pretty easy vaginal births each time, only a couple of very minor tears/grazes, so by between 4 to 6 weeks I’m usually healed up and feeling brave enough to try it!

      I do have a few stretch marks, but very faded ones. And yes I have had 6 babies, but with kegals and, to be honest, lots of sex and orgasms, everything seems to have toned back up again each time 😀 So yes, my husband certainly does seem to find me attractive still, hoorah!

      1. Absolutley amazing comment! I am so happy that you laid it out there, all that truth. That is exactly what I was hoping for, a little bit of openess and honesty. I am so happy for you that you have an awesome sex life!

        Might be the best comment ever. Really. xx

    2. Thank you for such a lovely response!

      I’m just pinging back because something has occurred to me – yes, I have a pretty awesome sex life, but NOT because we both porn stars or something.

      More because we talk and laugh and connect together regularly – about sex, yes, but about non sexual things too.

      I think what I’m trying to say is that we work on intimacy and friendship & being loving etc, and therefore sex tends to be nurturing and fulfilling and recharging/renewing, rather than a chore or whatever.

      1. The porn thing is totally over rated. Be real I think. The last point you make is realy important too. It’s the surrounding things that make it so good! xx

    3. Oh ‘sex’, the big taboo subject… God knows why… our babies are all here for the same reason – lol. Any ways must dash I’m off for a shag. 🙂

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