Family isn't all Penis, Vagina and Kids.

I saw a tweet by Amber from Goblin Child  and it said:

I so want this award to reflect the unconventional families, to show that ‘family’ doesn’t mean penis, vagina, children. xx

Now, firstly I did a lol, because ‘penis’. Yes I am a childish grown-upish person. Things like that still tickle me. After that I started thinking about what makes a family. I am lucky in that I have experienced a few different units personally. Life with a single parent, then as a single parent and now as a Step- Family? I don’t even know what we are but my partner is my second longterm partner (hopefully last if he wouldn’t mind staying). So I have my Eldest who is 8 from a previous relationship and two more tiny ones from this relationship. We met when Eldest was 2, I am a paletype and he is Vietnamese. So we’ve been asked if we’ve adopted, fostered and if any of them are ours. The children look completely different to each other, they are different fractures of me out there in the world doing ‘stuff’. They don’t see each other as anything but sisters – regardless of the things that have been said to them or about them (My old post Race Hate). Their skin colours are all different, their eyes aren’t the same shape, their bone structures are different and they are all wonderfully different. But those differences are what make us who we are, they are what make our family.

So I thought it might be interesting to share with you the family units that I know, personally, what Amber said is true, family is much much more than penis, vagina and kids.

  • Penis, Vagina, three offspring and a dog
  • Vagina, Vagina two offspring two dogs
  • Penis, Vagina, three dogs one horse
  • Penis, Vagina, one offspring and 4 cats
  • Vagina and 8 cats
  • Penis, Penis and 5 dogs, 1 horse
  • Vagina, 4 dogs, 7 horses
  • Penis, Penis one offspring and one cat.
  • Penis, horse, two cats
  • Penis, Penis
  • Vagina, Vagina
  • Penis and offspring
  • Vagina and a goldfish
  • Vagina and two offspring
  • Gender Neutral, Vagina two guinepigs
  • Penis, Vagina, step offspring and a bunny

That is just a really small selection of people that I know and I am proud that they call themselves a family. But do we as a nation or even a world do enough to celebrate that? Do we really stop and go, you know what *High-Five* you bad ass same sex parents, do we ever really acknowledge the fact that, that they have to wait, hope, spend a lot of cash just to be in with a chance of being a parent. Often waiting years. I know a couple that had to wait a very, very long time to adopt a child. It was a long, traumatic and very emotional experience for them both and tested them as a couple. Since then they have celebrated a marriage and enjoyed Christmas, birthdays and a holiday. They celebrate their husband and little boy with total abandon. They show their love freely and it’s wonderful. But do I even, or can I ever try and really see what they went through? Probably not, but I want to celebrate it with you anyway. I want to say you know what, we are all parents, we are all families and I love that. I really love, to my very bones that I live in world with so many beautiful family make ups. I love that we are not all the same. I love that fact that family isn’t all Penis, Vagina and Kids.

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What do you think? Do we do enough to celebrate all the different types of family & love out there?

Zara

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