Okay, admit it – when was the last time that you and your husband spent any quality time together? How many romantic evenings have you forgone in favour of grabbing an early night or a relaxing bath? Modern life is exhausting, and raising children even more so. In fact, it can often be difficult to keep the magic of marriage alive when you’re so focused on housework, your children’s schedules, and the numerous places that you’re expected to be at any one time. The funny thing about marriage is that it’s easy to become complacent. Sure, you probably see your spouse every day, but when was the last time that you really saw him?
If you’ve been struggling to connect with your husband in recent weeks or months, allow me to inspire you. Sometimes the smallest steps are the most effective when it comes to rekindling those flames of affection and companionship.
Disconnect from the rest of the world
We live in an age that’s dominated by social media, often paying more attention to our digital alter egos and friendships than the relationships that exist right in front of us. If we’re to truly reconnect with our other halves, it’s essential to forgo those interactions, if only for an evening or weekend. Put down your phones, switch off your laptops, and prepare for a little quality time together. You might even decide to literally escape with one another, choosing a venue for a date or weekend away where you can interact without distractions. These moments are vital for a healthy, loving relationship – as well as our own sanity.
Engage him with questions
If you’re not sure what your husband’s thinking about, ask him; we’re often so caught up in our own dramas and daily routines that we forget to ask the simplest of questions. How are you? How was your day? If I’ve learned one thing about men, it’s that they often take a little more prompting when it comes to opening up and sharing details of their day. Don’t ever be afraid to initiate the conversation for a change. You might even discover a few things about one another, if only you find the right questions to ask.
Take an interest in sports
Now, bear with me here, since there’s a good chance that you already do enjoy sports. Perhaps you avidly support a particular team or discipline, and make your way to as many games as possible. However, do you watch the same games, matches, and team events as your husband? Could you recite any of the details that he tells you about his favourite players, or recall the statistics that he might have mentioned? If sport is important to your other half, then make sure that you’re listening; you can learn a lot about a person from their hobbies and interests, even if they’re not pouring their heart out to you. Does your husband like to have a flutter on the horses, or bet on his favourite team every now and again? Even better, ask him if you could place a bet for him every now and again – Stakers.com is a great place to start, and you might even discover a knack for uncovering those favourable odds. What a bonus!
Discover a shared passion
It’s perfectly normal for partners to enjoy doing different things. In fact, those moments spent apart can be lifesavers at times, particularly if you’re feeling stressed or irritable and need an escape. However, discovering shared hobbies is important for a healthy relationship; common ground and interests provide the perfect opportunity to spend time together, after all. When was the last time that you had a conversation about the things that interest you? Do you feel as though you might have fallen out of touch with one another? Endeavour to spend at least one evening a week rediscovering one another, and choose activities that you might have forgotten, such as bowling, to complement those moments.
Remember what attracted you to one another
We are shallow beasts by nature, so perhaps you first noticed your husband’s eyes. Think about the first time that you ever laid eyes on your husband, and recall the qualities and attributes that you fell in love with; what is it you love about the man he’s grown to be? Sometimes we need a little nudge in the right direction, and so picturing, and even re-enacting those early days and dates can be a great way to rekindle the flames that might have been faltering recently. Visit the place where you first met, or the venue that hosted your very first date. Take joy in surprises, and appreciate one another for who you are as people – not parents.
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you and your husband connected; there are still plenty of opportunities to rediscover what it is you adore about one another. Marriage takes time and effort if you’re to reap its rewards, and it’s so easy to nudge one another to the side in favour of a parenting task or work event. Stop seeing one another as co-parents, colleagues, or even companions, and you’ll start to view one another as lovers and soulmates once more.