Can You Have ‘it’ All?

I am going to be a bit honest here and straight up say – no, I don’t think you can.

How depressing I hear you cry!

Well, maybe. We are sold multiple memes and videos stating that we can have it all. Work a bit harder, get up earlier, get your balance right, make sacrifices…

Unless the large majority of the world are clowns, then why are we constantly juggling for the glimpse of having ‘it’ all. The ‘it’ is all relative too. Your ‘it’ might be a successful business, a loving family and a warm bed at night. Someone else might want all that, a clean home, clever children, being known for what they do. It’s individual, for the most part.

But at what point do we stop and look at everything we don’t have on our balance beam with us? When starting up a business you might stop sleeping the amount of hours you need, you might stop cooking as much as you’d like, you may leave a hobby and your partner on the side gather dust. That isn’t balance. That is one-sided focus. When we give up work in order to stay at home and take care of our families, do we lose a part of who we are then? Do we lose the authority and company of work friends? Most likely. Is there a situation where someone is complete satisfied with what they have to the point they can honestly state ‘I have it all’, most likely not.

Everything seems to just slip away, we spend hours and hours wondering why Vanessa down the road looks like she has got ‘it’ all and we are a heap of mess trying to make something of ourselves, for ourselves. That is just it though, she looks as though she has it all, but I will bet the heap of coins in my purse there is something she is missing too. At the same time as being sold the ‘having it all’ we are fed the, ‘be content with what you have’ and then ‘strive to be more’. But which one is it? I have to be content, while striving for more and then aiming to have it all. So vague, so aimless, so bullshit.

Another meme appears on your timeline stating that, to get it all, you’ve got to give it all. But where is the line? What is the point that you have no more to give? Would you even recognise that point until you’re crying in the bath because you are tired, you have a piece of work overdue, a cake to bake for the fundraiser at school tomorrow, a video to edit, you haven’t picked up a book in months and have forgotten to put the dinner on. I’ve done this on more than one occasion myself.

How long do you honestly believe that you can give everything you’ve got till you drop everything you already have.

In general I am positive person, I believe in giving, working, loving and living. I don’t believe there is a perfect balance because there is always something that comes an after thought – a friend’s birthday, a meeting, your kids homework, your sleep, your relationship… and so on.

I also feel that ‘having it all’ and success are separate things. For example, I could be very happy I have been published somewhere, that is a great success, but secretly my house is filled with dust and my kids likely have nits and I haven’t had sex with my husband in 6 months – out the window goes ‘having it all’.

What if ‘having it all’ is the carrot on a stick? We can see it, we can almost touch it, but we will never get to feel crunch between our teeth because it’s a fallacy fed to the masses via memes to keep us busy. Perhaps the key is being content with where we are heading, knowing who we are, and occasionally having a really good cup of coffee with a friend and knowing that in the end, the rest is pretty bullshit.

One Comment

  1. Life is a funny old thing, whilst you are busy trying to get everything you dream of something else can come along and totally take you by surprise. It’s a balancing act and a fine line to walk upon.

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