Babies,  Baby,  Breastfeeding,  Family,  Food,  Humour

The Alternative Breastfeeding Glossary

These are the lesser known but very important ALTERNATIVE breastfeeding things you might want to learn/remember/laugh about.

During a half asleep latch I have poked her in the eye with my nipple this is know as ‘Pink Nip Eye.’

I have squeezed a boob a touch to hard while removing from the bra (I inadvertantly fell asleep in) and sprayed her in the face. This doesn’t have a name, because it’s depressing enough to see your milk anywhere other than in your offspring without giving it a real name!

IF (big if) she doesn’t wake up then I wake up crying. From my boobs. Obviously this is simply just ‘Hurty Sad Boobies.’

While laying on our sides, she nods off, I follow suit and wake up to a baby who is suckling a part of my arm or a random part of my breast or with what I like to call ‘Bird Mouth’.

Bird Mouth is when a baby is hungry and excited to eat in equal measures and will shake their head from left to right with a wide open mouth.

Sometimes for the first few seconds niether of us know what is going on ‘Confused Boob’.

One or both of you will be so blissed out that one (or both of you) fall asleep. On occasion you will wake up with a slightly damp and cold nipple… It may look like this: ‘Arctic Nip’.

The boobies hug. This may happen just before, during OR after a feed. Your little one is so excited by the prospect of impending food you get ‘The Boobie Hug.’

 There is the post feed happy face. I refer to this as ‘Milky High’, I think that post feed they are so chilled out and happy they can’t help but smile. Let us enjoy that ‘Milky High.’

And finally we have the universally known ‘Milk Drunk’ – your offspring is so full, winded, warm and happy they use you as the best pillow in the word. Until the next time.

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